Big Wide World
by Erikstrulove
Summary: I don't want to scare anyone off...but Rodney won't be fitting into his clothes for awhile...
1. Chapter 1

Do you ever just HAVE to write something? Egads I've started another fic! Although, with this one, I've figured it out….Muahahahahahaha and I'm thinking I'm gonna be posting almost every other day (and they will all be this short…because I can). This came from me reading a first sentence challenge at :

The Invasion of the Psychotic Authors

In case anyone was wondering.

So with that in mind, and also that I don't own SGA, read on!

* * *

"Where am I going, and what am I doing in this hand basket?"

Colonel Sheppard pushed Rodney's head back down into the basket and moved the napkin back over his body. "Stay down McKay." He hissed.

"No!" Rodney whined, "I will not stay down, I want to know where we're going!"

Sheppard sighed, "We're going to go find the others. And I don't need you making noise and drawing attention to ourselves. _Clear_?"

"Fine, whatever." Rodney scooted back underneath what he realized was a napkin. _Great, just, great…_

"Alright there they are. We're just going to go through the gate, and sort this mess out."

"Shouldn't we make them turn me back first? Wait! Why aren't we still in the laboratory! Why are we-"

"McKay, I can barely hear you. And no, don't start yelling again either. We'll talk about his later."

McKay narrowed his eyes in the general direction of Sheppard, and resorted to mumbling under his breath. Not that Sheppard could hear it…

"Teyla, Ronan, we've got a situation. Rodney was examining an artifact, long story short, he's in this hand basket."


	2. Chapter 2

"No way."

A muffled voice cried out from…Sheppard's basket? "Don't sound so amused sasquatch."

"Dr. McKay, is that really you?" Teyla inquired.

"Of course it is! Can we get out of here now? Please!"

Ronon crossed his arms, "Prove it."

"Prove what?" Came the muffled whine.

"Trust me, it's him, I've been listening to him bellyache since it happened."

"I don't know, I think I'm gonna have to see this." Ronon smirked.

"Alright Rodney you heard the man."

"What! Are you insane? We're wasting valuable time here that could be used to make me-"

"Aw come on Rodney. Sooner everyone sees that your what we said, the sooner we can get to the gate." John gave the basket a little shake.

Of course, it didn't matter to John that Ronon was just asking to annoy McKay. Teyla merely inclined her head in a silent reprimand.

"Ow! Fine," Rodney carefully crawled out a ways from under the napkin, wrapped the edge around his waist protectively and stood. "I could've gotten serious head trauma from that." The color on his face from his initial anger at being jostled was replaced by a slighter lighter shade from seeing the looks of bemusement on his teammates faces. "Oh sure, make fun of the…"

"Mini-McKay?" Blurted Sheppard.

Rodney scowled.

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Poor Rodney...

You can bet Sheppard is gonna be feeling **Mighty** **guilty** in a few chapters...


	3. Chapter 3

"Alright Rodney, we can go now."

"Sure, now that we've _all_ made fun of the genius. _Now_ we can go."

"Yep."

Teyla gestured towards the wooded path which led to the stargate, "Perhaps we should start moving. We have heard talk of-"

Teyla's words were cut short by a small explosion coming from the far end of the village followed by angry bursts of gunfire. Teyla raised her brow pointedly at the distraction.

Colonel Sheppard grimaced. "Right."

Rodney yelled over the rising sound, "What are we waiting fo-" He was cut short from a jolt that landed him on his butt. It was then Rodney realized that wicker made a poor landing pad and made a valiant effort to secure his buttocks upon the napkin whilst avoiding the concussion that was sure to happen with John not running as smoothly as a trained officer should be running. He tried to say as much, but it came out sounding a lot like this:

"Stup- conc- should- ficer- tock-"

Thankyou for the feedback evreyone! Is this shorter than my other two...? I'm not sure...could be...

* * *

I can't wait until I write chapter...well, the chapter when the exciting thing happens that you'll never see comming. Seriously, you _will_ be shocked! Shocked I say!!! SHOCKED! 


	4. Chapter 4

Dr Weir walked slowly down the steps and watched as AG-1 came running through the gate. First Colonel Sheppard, who looked like he was carrying a…hand basket? Followed closely by Teyla and then Ronon, bringing up the rear. The gate then closed. "Is everyone alright? Colonel Sheppard, what happened to Dr. McKay?"

John grimaced, "He's fine, he just uh, had a _minor_ accident."

Ronon dusted some leaves from his pants, "Show her."

"Show me what, exactly?"

"This." Sheppard gave the basket a little shake. "Rodney, show Elizabeth."

Dr. Weir raised her eyebrows somewhat dubiously.

"_Come on _Rodney." Come to think of it, Rodney had been pretty quiet since the they had gotten out of the forest… "Rodney?" John felt the napkin, hoping for an incredulous insult for 'feeling him up.' Nothing came, he lifted the napkin, and nothing was there of Rodney except a barely discernable dot of blood.

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Dun dun DUNNNN! Are you shocked? Just a little...maybe?


	5. Chapter 5

Gateroom:

"_Yeah_, this is gonna be a problem."

Alien Planet, P3a-947

I single leaf fell…

Drifting…

Spinning downwards…

A bead of dew, glistening in the fading light streaming from beyond the treetops, slid back and forth on the waxy surface of the leaf…

It fell harmlessly through the clear, brisk evening air…

And finally, it fell to rest, on the tiny, pale, _nekkid_ body, of a certain scientist.

-

Gateroom:

"Let me get this straight…"

-

Alien Planet, P3a-947

The bead of dew could no longer cling to the waxy surface of the narrow leaf, and it slid off…

-

Gateroom:

"Yup. That about, sums it up."

-

Alien Planet, P3a-947

The previously unconsciously limp body shuddered. And suddenly it stiffened in panic… _Dang that's cold._

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AN) So there I was, watching angsty Rodney fanvids, and I started to write this chapter, but it was comming out all..._angsty_. So then I switched to the House md. fanvid it's raining men, and deleted the chapter and wrote this...

Was anyone Shocked at the last chapter? Anyone? Just a little? I thought I was shocked for a moment, but then I remebered I was the one who'd written it, and it wore off after a few days... :)


	6. Chapter 6

Rodney shifted, just a bit to his left, and pushed the stem of the leaf that had pulled him back towards coconsciousness out of it's uncomfortable, and certainly _awkward_ position away from him. Wait a minute…Leaf?

Rodney sat up and looked frantically around, "Wha- ehuh?" _Ow, ow head…concussion. _Rodney clinched his eyes shut and rolled back onto the ground. _Ow…twigs, bad idea…_ Rodney pulled one of the slender leaves over and managed to get himself adjusted properly so that his rear end wasn't being unduly prodded from behind.

Wiping the dirt out of his eyes with his palms he noticed the pain in his upper arm, "Oh, that's just _great!_ 'm bleeding from a wicker cut, who knows what that basket was made out of, probably hemp or some other…_Light headed_…" Rodney fell back against the leaves unconscious.

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I'm still listening to It's Raining Men... 


End file.
